Ten years ago I turned 18 and was halfway through completing my final year of high school. I looked like a slightly deflated version of my present self with a small army of zits occupying my face and chest, but I’ve done so much growing since then. I feel better about myself and others, and have become simultaneously more loving of the important people in my life and cynical about the political systems I cannot control.
The fleeting quality of memory means for every strikingly clear image I have in my head of growing up, there’s at least a thousand moments lost in the cloud. But if there is one thing I latch onto throughout the years like roadside objects in the rear-view mirror, it’s video games. Games give me a foothold on my backwards climb, offering a brief respite as a I grasp for distant emotions, allowing me to re-inhabit a person who I hope would be infinitely proud of me.
Ten years ago today I was probably piloting predator missiles onto the multiplayer battlefields of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, unlocking a myriad of gun attachments and camouflages to corny electric guitar riffs rising above the action. I was probably using the limiting quality of reflex sights and radar blips to avoid thinking of the stress of graduation and the next big step. I was probably playing alongside a close personal friend who I don’t talk to anymore.
But the double-sided joy and anxiety of games is that they keep coming. There’s more memories to experience alone or with people I care about, even if that means it’s impossible to play every single one. So in the second installment of a series I want to make a year-end tradition, let’s reflect on some, but not all, of the games I played in 2019.
Polyphonic Prayer 